Day Dates…..What You Have When Night Dates Don’t Always Work Well for Your Family

Sometimes we go on “day dates”, the husband and I.

When the bigs are at school and it’s just the littlest littles with us. Sometimes we’re able to get someone to watch the twinnies, and sometimes they join us.

{The funny thing is, when you have four kiddos, only having two with you seems almost easy…sometimes…}

When you’re not fielding bigger kid questions and special needs situations and arguments and LOUDNESS with all four kiddos in the van all at the same time, well, it can definitely feel a little more relaxing!

And sometimes, when you have four kiddos, one with special needs and the youngest being twin toddlers, finding affordable child care can be difficult. And sometimes night dates just don’t work out as well….especially not in our current season. “Date Nights” can almost be more stressful than helpful and can be more time spent trying to get OUT the door than you actually spend time being out TOGETHER.

So, “day dates” happen. And they’re pretty awesome.

Like this last week, we ended up with an impromptu Day Date, the twinnies were doing great, we had some errands to run, and well, we decided to make it a mini date! Sometimes, that is just the way it works. And sometimes, the way it works, is the way it needs to happen to stay connected.

On our “mini day date”, we had to drop off some books to the library. We used the book drop off that’s on the outside of the library, but my littlest little knows that THERE ARE BOOKS IN THAT BUILDING. She loves books. LOVES them.

She didn’t stop asking “can we go get books?” for the rest of the morning and again after nap time.

{she really really really likes books}

So, after our “day date” of running errands and enjoying some quiet, the bigs arrived home from school. I decided to take the oldest (that also really really likes books and was wanting to go pick some up that had been reserved) and the youngest with me on what turned into a mama and kid date.

Two dates with my people in one day….well, three out of the 5 of them at least.

{don’t worry…the other two will get their mama time too. Promise}

I don’t always have “big black” with me (what I lovingly call my DSLR), but there were some moments I was quick to grab my phone and used it’s handy dandy camera.

{seriously…WHAT did we ever do without those? Oh yeah, we used point and shoots..and had a phone…and…too many other things to juggle and balance…}

The photos above captured two of my kiddos perfectly in their element. My oldest and my youngest. My book lovers.

I loved standing back and just watching them navigate the isles of books. M and I exploring some books for her, then going to find her big brother and her running to him when she found him.

Having four kiddos spanning a fairly wide range in ages can be crazy and difficult and chaotic at times, but days and moments like these bring it home and remind me just how amazing it all really is.

Is There Snot On My Sleeve?

I never thought it would happen to us….that we’d be that couple that could barely manage to squeeze in a date between all the parenting.

But it happened.

Trying to go to dinner and a movie with my husband these days is like an act of I don’t know what. Moving a mountain?

Perhaps.

When we are able to arrange the child care {oh my goodness, I ADORE my in-laws. They love my kiddos. And that means a LOT to me}, and schedule it all in, it’s almost like trying to get ready to go on a weekend vacation.

Except we’re not. We’re just trying to attempt dinner and a movie. By ourselves.

Seriously, folks. Four kids, one with special needs and two being twin toddlers, is NOT easy for people. And preparing them, and getting everything ready and making sure there are clean clothes for toddlers, and diapers…

Strategies in place for the oldest two, making sure all bases are covered JUST TO GO OUT ON ONE DATE!

It’s exhausting.

I almost didn’t want to go this last time, because the twinnies decided to get colds. First one, then the other. By weeks end I was one completely fatigued mama that was extremely grateful for having learned how to tandem baby wear the babies. I think someone saying “just go sleep”, would’ve made me the happiest woman on the planet.

But on a date it was to be…and we eventually made it out the door.

WOOHOO!

Then I looked at my husband and asked “do I have snot on my sleeve?!”

Yeah.

We both had a good laugh. And he told me I looked beautiful.

I love him.

{he’s a keeper for sure}

But seriously, I think I like dates at home better for the time being. Okay, not really. I like getting a chance to eat my food without giving away half my plate to toddlers, and watching a WHOLE movie without interruption. For real you guys, I don’t know what it’s like to sit for 2 plus hours anymore! I almost got bored.

Almost.

But, the feat of getting out is crazy! I know it won’t always be like this. I know there will be a day that my sleeves will be snot free when leaving the house.

But I am also not in any hurry to get there too quickly.

What I do believe though? Is that no matter how crazy it is, it’s important to take time to date your mate. Even it that means coffee on the front porch or popsicles at the kitchen table, just talking, once all the kiddos are tucked in.

It’s not always easy to manage a date OUT, but we try really hard to keep time set aside for each other each week. I want to know what’s going on in his head, and he {crazy enough}, likes to hear all the crazy ideas I have in mine.

Not always easy, but definitely always important.