I’m not sure when it sunk in.
Maybe it was when making a double batch of mac & cheese that use to feed 3 of us for several meals, that now makes enough to spread over maybe two meals.
Or that making a single batch of cookies pretty much means enough for each person to have like 2/each and maybe a few to tuck into a couple lunches.
Or perhaps in the production line assembly for school lunch making I had going on…or the fact that I look forward to Mondays now more than the weekends, because the weekends are even crazier than the weekdays…
But, whenever it was, I woke up and looked around and said “Oh, hello! New normal…that feels more like a marathon than, ya know, walking…”
Or something like that.
It used to be just two of us. And when we’d just gotten married, and lived in a little tiny farm house just outside College Station, Texas while my husband was finishing up school, life was pretty simple.
Weekends pretty much consisted of sleeping in till whenever we wanted, maybe taking a trip to the local farmers market, and catching up with friends for lunch or dinner, staying up as late as we wanted because, as already mentioned, we could sleep in! Sometimes we’d head back home to visit family or take a day trip. We took in movies whenever and life {now looking back} was pretty darned relaxed!
Simple. Laundry for two, cooking for two. Easy Peasy!
Then along came our first born.
There was no more sleeping in, but it was still just three of us, so pretty simple for outings and whatnot. At least, it seemed like it was easier.
{Who am I kidding, I was a first-time mom…EVERYTHING felt like a BIG DEAL}
It was definitely life-changing, and exhausting at times with a new little person depending on me for everything, but it was manageable.
{But really, I totally had major freak out first-time mom moments. And plenty of them}
Fast forward several years and 3 more kiddos….
Life is crazy busy and never still. Ever.
I think since bringing our second home, I have felt like I’ve constantly been running. Yet, I wasn’t realizing it. Not really. I mean, I knew I was busy, and so many crazy adjustments and things, I kinda just got lost in it all and didn’t realize the pace on the treadmill had kicked up a notch.
Then…THEN it really kicked up a notch when we found out we were expecting TWINS.
{seriously unexpected, but oh so awesome littles they are! If you’ve never seen it, here is how we announced it:https://vimeo.com/54997660 and here is the gender reveal:https://vimeo.com/60801167 }
I think I’ve felt like I’ve been on a treadmill under water ever since.
And I think I was able to come up for air just long enough to realize that this is really what it’s like now. The running thing? This IS my new normal. Life is crazy-busy and chaotic and silly, and fun and just insane at times. Yup.
You see, mostly I’m a pretty private person. Yes, I blog things out here and there, but for the most part, until more recently, I just stayed in my underwater world and just kept chugging along. And typically if I cannot make it to an event or outing, or whatever, there is a very good reason.
I’m an introvert that needs re-charging. And I like my family. And I like being with them when we can and I will always, ALWAYS choose them over an event.
But, within my little family world that has grown from just two of us to six of us, I’ve had to make adjustments. And I’ve had to work on some things…
Like realizing that this life? This running? It’s just gotta be taken and accepted.
I’ve surprised myself in the ways that I have grown and changed. And, honestly, having one child with special needs, and then twins added to that? Well, I’ve definitely grown in ways. Good ways. I am far more relaxed than I used to be.
I think I even surprised a friend the other day that had asked if she could stop by for a minute and I said yes! It was a quick visit, but I was good with it. Admittedly, I’m not always….I kinda like planned out things, but sometimes life doesn’t give you much planning time and you just gotta roll with it or miss out!
My house definitely wasn’t in perfect order, and ya know what?! I was mostly OK with it. I mean, who cares that I still had a couple christmas items out that I’d forgotten to put away? Or dishes in the sink? And ya know, laundry might have been on the sofa to be folded….
But, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m learning to be okay with being more vulnerable and transparent. And being honest with myself that it’s absolutely OKAY not to have it all together all the time.
So, running…I will be running for some distance in this role as mama and this season of parenting.
Sometimes I think about the season where we won’t be running quite as much, when our kiddos are older, and I’m not really sure what to think about it. It will be different after so much running.
Perhaps in the midst of this season of running, I need to keep in mind how relax too…and that it’s OKAY to allow myself to….