I’m Not A Night Time Blogger

So, I’ve realized something….

My best and most productive thought time to blog is between 9 and 11 am.

But, this is pretty much the worst time ever to have lots of thoughts I need to get out of my head and on to a screen.

It’s pretty much the most busy and involved parenting time of the morning. Which makes it a not really great time to have the computer out and attempting to blog.

I’ve tried doing the whole night time blogging thing, and this is what I have discovered…

I’m not a night time blogger. I have tried. I just can’t.

Yet, it’s really the only time of day I have uniterrupted time to actually blog.

But, I not do my best work at night. Nope.

You know what I do well at night? Sleep. Sleeping is what I do best then.

{that is, when ALL the children actually stay asleep for those night time hours}

And I’ve thought about doing the whole get up before the rest of the house and blog then, but it’s not really working for me either.

Mainly because three days a week I am getting up before 5am, but I am going and working out. And working out helps keep me more sane the rest of the days.

And that is VERY important while all the children are home for the summer. It’s been busy and active and mommy needs to get that time in then, or it isn’t going to happen.

Coffee and kickboxing. It’s what mama needs.

And my kids need me during the daytime hours. And I need to be present for them.

And can I be honest with you? It has been a HUGE struggle for me this summer!

Trying to keep all the things in a somewhat structured schedule for one kiddo that desperately needs it, but still being flexible enough for the other kiddos that would like to just chill and have a more laid back summer (which I am ALL about, truly), has been hard for me this summer. Like, kick my butt hard.

And they are ALL home. Together. And not always getting along.

{ I know, I bet you thought I had perfect kids…}

By the time 9pm is rolling around I. Am. Beat. Like, dragging up the steps and crawling into bed and….wait, just kidding. I have more to get done before I can do that.

So, by 10, 11…12, when I am finally finishing things up and prepping the next days things and activities and such, I am toast. The balancing act of the day has zapped my brain power and I pretty much have nothing left to give.

And attempting a blog post then would just be silly.

I keep hoping a rhythm will come about. I’ve been hoping this all summer, but it hasn’t happened.

I’m not sure where this leaves me. Perhaps I should try getting up the two other days I don’t currently get up before the sun and blog then.

Perhaps.

Or perhaps I just continue to blog when I have a minute. It might mean that my blog posts don’t have a theme or a rhythm to them. And I’m mostly okay with that. I tend to write what I feel when I feel it. Sometimes that means I am able to blog several things out in one sitting. Other times it might take several days for one post.

I know it’s not a perfect formula, but it seems to be what works for the time being.

Tell me, when is your favorite time to blog? What helps you get in a rhythm?

Someone Spilled My Coffee

I decided to get a pedicure.

It had been quite a while and my toes were looking in need of a little TLC. And I was about to head to see my sister in Ohio, so I thought, why not?

It’ll be a nice treat, I thought. A kid-free hour-ish that would give me a minute to breathe from all the insanity of summer.

And before being on a plane with…ya know, people!

{why yes, I am an introvert…}

I should’ve known it was not going to be quite as relaxing as I hoped. I just should’ve known.

{because it never really is}

I decided to grab some coffee from the coffee shop next to the nail place. And as I entered, I swear to you, I thought the sign on the door said “over-priced coffee”. It, in fact, said “over-ice”.

Haha…silly me. But totally true.

I decided to get a VENTI. A venti iced mocha, non fat no whip. That’s what I got.

I then popped in to the nail salon, decided on an awesomely bright purple color for my nails, and started walking towards the seat I was being ushered to….my venti iced deliciousness in hand.

The very nice lady asked if she could take my coffee…

{side note: it’s probably never ever a good idea to you ask if you can take my coffee. Offer to get me coffee? Definitely. Take it from me? Mmmm…not so much}

I hesitantly handed over my coffee and then she asked to take my purse. She set my coffee down and then went to set my bag down.

And then it happened.

She tripped or something, knocking into the side table she’d placed my coffee on, and my iced mocha deliciousness went flying up in the air…..

{I’m pretty sure things started to play in slow motion at this point}

I stopped dead, pretty sure my mouth dropping open in horror as I helplessly watched my coffee go flying in the air and crash landing, beginning to spill out all over the place.

And I’m pretty sure the girl two chairs over almost had a coronary, and almost dropped her laptop into the water below, as she watched the contents of my iced amazingness flying through the air and ALMOST landing in her very nice leopard print bag.

Thankfully….YES, THANKFULLY, it was a venti. And the lid stayed on! So not nearly as much as I thought I was seeing spilling out actually spilled out. There was over half left.

WHEW!

I felt terrible for the very nice lady. She apologized profusely. I told her it was OK. Really, it was all good….I said this as I picked up my coffee and held it in a vice grip, and smiled.

And then I drank it. All of it.

That Time I Chose Not To Wipe The Fingerprints Off….

It was after a long string of bad/sad/mad news.

My FaceBook feed seemed to read more like a hallmark movie, turned horror film, turned everyone dies story.

Or something like that.

I had bought some new-to-me dining chairs for the kitchen table. The old ones were still in good shape, but we needed to add two more..since the two pairs of little feet added to our family would, sooner than later, be sitting with us at the “big” table…and I happened to find SIX of the same style chairs all together from one place. And they cost less all together than two of the same type of chair brand-spankin-new would cost. Total win!

They had this lovely {nothing against this color, mind you} shade of forest green that was oh so the rage in the 90’s. And it was a bit chippy. But not the stylish distressed type, but more like clearly well used and loved chairs type.

Previous to finding these awesome new-to-me chairs, I had debated back and forth weather to get six different styles of chairs and paint them all the same color, or all different colors….OR get all the same (or similar) styles and paint them each a different color.

When I spotted these, I decided to paint different colors, but let my two oldest pick the color they most wanted {within reason-ish}….they chose green and pink. I was able to locate relatively close shades in moss and coral. It works.

I chose a teal and mustard yellow for the other chairs. My littlest little kept trying to take her big sisters chair, so I decided to paint hers the same color. It’s totally working so far…

I got some strange looks when I said I was painting the chairs different colors instead of more coordinating, but it’s okay. People also thought I was crazy when we moved into this house a year ago and I took the big kids to the paint store and let them pick out their own paint colors for their new rooms.

I’ve heard “you’re brave” more than once. And “I could never let them do that! I have a certain way I want my kids rooms to look, so I choose for them”…

{okay…}

I decided my kids were only kids once, and this is the one personal all their own space to retreat from the craziness of our loud and silly family…and it’s only paint. I let it go and let them choose.

And WOW, the colors have a glow to them at certain times of the day, but it’s okay. I actually love seeing their personalities in the paint colors they chose. Except maybe when I have a head-ache and the glow gets to be a little much…

So. Chairs. I decided to paint the chairs all kinds of different colors. When I was painting the first two chairs the teal color, I learned about an amazing person that was losing her battle with cancer. I didn’t know her personally, but I heard she had kiddos similar in ages to mine and it just hit me hard.

I remember the tears streaming down my face when I read she had finally lost her battle. I kept painting those chairs….thinking about my kiddos. Thinking about me as their mama.

I thought about how life is too crazy short to worry about perfect. Life is too short not to have colorful chairs.

When I had finished painting the chairs, but hadn’t put the wax coating on them yet, the twinnies had had some blueberries with their lunch and, before I could get their adorable little blueberry hands cleaned up, they had climbed into one of the chairs. My chair, actually.

The one I had painted my Gramma’s favorite mustard yellow color.

And there they were. Little blueberry finger prints.

I went to wipe them off and stopped myself. I knew the second I wiped them clean, I’d regret it.

So I left them. Then I waxed over them.

I don’t want perfect. I want my house and life to reflect who we are. Who we are as a family.

I decided to let it go and embrace it. And I know, ten years from now, I will love seeing those little blueberry fingerprints and remember the way my littlest littles were that put them there.

I will remember how I wanted to keep letting go and just enjoy the moments we were living. The way life was RIGHT THEN. Enjoying my kiddos and learning more and more of their personalities and letting them be who they are.

Life is too short. Too insanely crazy short not to let a little color intertwine and make things a little brighter.

Here’s to learning and deciding to let go and just live!

Soothing To The Soul Friendships

{Note: I actually wrote this last summer and apparently never posted it. So, even though it was written a year ago, I felt it needed posting. Soothing to the soul friendships are so important. Enjoy!}

There is something about getting out with a good friend that is just soothing to the soul.

One of my dearest friends, who moved away a few years ago to another state, came for a visit the other day. We decided to go out to dinner at a new-ish local place. It was delish!

But even better was the company and the friendship. There is something about having twins, in addition to 2 other kiddos (one with sometimes overwhelming special needs), and being lost in a hole of sorts for the past year just surviving through it that takes you somewhere and away from so much. And in a way I didn’t even realize!

I have been seeing people and out and about at times. Not as often as before, for obvious OH MY GOSH I don’t WANNA with ALL of them at the SAME TIME ways.

Truly. I LOVE my kiddos, but all four out and about with just one of me to manage….well, sometimes it doesn’t go so well. And other times I manage it like a boss. But more on the not-so-much side of things lately….

People have been to visit me and bring me dinners and short visits. I’ve gone out to a couple girls nights with the gals from our new church and it’s been fabulous.

But to go out and have one on one time with one of my dearest friends hasn’t happened in far too long. Things in my world the past few months have been so topsy turvy and unsettled with moving and an unplanned surgery right in the middle of it all, and then the twins turned one, and then my sister dropped the news that she’s moving to a way too far away state. And it’s all happened so close together, I feel like I’ve been treading water. And yet, not even realizing it.

My days are filled with lots of activities, none of which taking care of me is one of. Which is bad. It’s been WEEKS since I’ve been able to do yoga. Surgery interrupted that, and then we moved and it’s been managing trying to get the house together in the spare moments I’m not taking care of babies, which has been pretty much 24/7. And which I love, but I’d also like to feel some peace and “settled” in our new house….at some point.

SO, getting out has not been the easiest. Alone is almost never and with a good friend for dinner? Not at all.

It was great and so good to reconnect with my friend. A friend that gets it and understands. A friend that saw on fb that my sister was moving and immediately texted me to see how I was. She knows my sis and I are close and it’s not going to be easy…we’ve lived 5 minutes from one another for the past 12 years. So, her now being several states away is going to be…..different.

I’ve been emotional about it. About so much of it….all of it, but have not taken note to take care of myself. So much so, that when my friend contacted me and said “Hey! Need a night out?”, I almost cried. Then felt ridiculous about being so emotional. Yet I was. And in being so, have come to realize just how much I need to start focusing and being intentional about mama getting a break here and there. It’s hard in this phase of life….I know it won’t always be this crazy and chaotic, but while I’m in the midst of it, I need to take care of me so I can be that much better of a mama and spouse. So I can truly ENJOY these days.

This kind of friendship is so good. So important. I need to remember that, take note of it and myself be more intentional.

Soothing to the soul. Yes.

The Shortest Longest Summer Ever

We’re entering into our second month of school being out and it’s been one of the most challenging summer breaks ever.

And emotional.

The twinnies are super crazy active and into anything and everything and learning new skills (like climbing, moving chairs, stealing crayons from their older sister…), definitely taking things up a notch in the creative parenting department for me…

My oldest girly needs a lot of one on one attention. The past two years, she’s qualified for extended summer schooling for special ed. This year, they decided she is retaining better and “they think she’ll be fine”, so-to-speak. Which, is both YAY! and c r a p.

Yay, because she has made some awesome strides this past year. And had some setbacks, as is typical for her. She’ll progress awesomely in one area, only to regress in the other. Not so yay. But still…Progress!

The c r a p part, because keeping her challenged and the babies entertained is not an easy task. In many ways and areas, they are catching up to her, which definitely is presenting some additional challenges. And typically, so far this summer, M wants to color more than anything else. Which means, the twinnies want to color. Which means me trying to sit at the table and we all color together.

Except, then, M gets anxious, they keep trying to take ALL THE COLORS, and someones paper inevitably gets crinkled and a meltdown by one of the three will occur.

So, I’ve been working on activities and such that the littlest littles can be a part of as well.

Meanwhile…it’s also the last summer before my biggest big goes to middle school. It’s been a pretty big and important task of making sure he simply gets to BE A KID.

I have found this is not always easy. But I’m trying. We’re making sure to get some fun activities for him and hanging out with friends and swimming and just chilling.

And here’s the thing, this summer? I know it’s going to zoom by! In one way, it feels like the longest summer ever in front of me. Yet, here it is July and over a month of the summer break has past and come August, it’s back to getting ready for school and all the middle school stuff that will be happening then.

And I am so not ready. It’s different this time. It feels different and it IS different. Life is changing and growing and relationships adjusting into a new phase. A phase I knew was coming, but wasn’t quite ready to hit. I don’t think a mama ever is truly ready for these changes. We simply have to take them and process them as they come…because there’s no stopping it.

So, I am embracing the chaos that is the everyday of all the kiddos being home and I am learning to let go of a lot and just let things be {except for all the planning it takes to keep some routine for my oldest daughter and prevent the meltdowns…}.

I feel it…the shortest longest summer ever.

Blogging Basketball and Distractions…

I brought my oldest to basketball practice, thinking I’d try to get a little blogging time in.

Hahahaha. That was such a nice thought.

Instead, I’m sitting here listening to a bazzillion different bounces and squeaking shoes and loudness in the sports center his practice is being held at.

And it’s kind of distracting. Plus, I totally want to watch him more than focus on other
s t u f f.

And I have a headache. So all the l o u d n e s s is kinda hurting my heady-ball. A lot.

So, instead of knocking out the couple of blog posts I’ve been wanting to get out of my head and typed onto screen, I bring you this random blog post.

Random can be fun. Yes it can.

You know whats funny about this whole basketball thing? I’ve never liked the sport. Not really.

{go ahead. gasp away.}

I never minded shooting hoops, I’ve just never really enjoyed watching it.

Hockey? I love it. Football? Definitely.

But basketball? Never truly been a favorite.

{I know, I know…}

And I remember years ago, my husband asking “what if J ever wants to play? What will you say?”.

And I remember immediately answering “then I will go and watch and support him and learn to love it!”.

So I am. And he’s never really played before this year, other than shooting hoops in the driveway, and he. is. loving. it!!

And I am enjoying getting to see him learn a new sport and enjoy it. And have fun.

I believe having fun is a very important part of sports. They are just kids after all. I think letting them be kids is important, too.

So, I sit here, typing out this random post, peeking up to see my biggest big kid every once in a while.

Speaking of, I’m going to sign off now. I want to go watch this awesome and amazing kid and give him the undivided attention he deserves.

Later!

Two Turning TWO

The twinnies turn two next week.

I’m not ready for it.

I’ve been in this state of limbo between wanting to slow time down, but enjoying all the new discoveries they make as they barrel towards two.

Each month, each week, each day we’ve inched closer and closer to two…all the changes and new things and watching them grow and discover and learn…it’s been amazing and heart-wrenching all at once.

They are my last, biologically, that will be. I will never again carry a baby and feel it kick me as it grows and prepares to enter the world.

I will not breastfeed one, or two, babies again in my life.

That season has come to a close and my heart, and uterus, are feeling the aches of knowing that season is passing and has past.

I want to hold on. I want to snuggle my newborns and inhale them.

Yes, I know the exhaustion that comes from both a singleton and newborn twins. It’s a blur and we.were.so.tired.

Oh, but the effort and extreme exhaustion were totally worth it. And I can say that now that I’m through it.

Then? I just wanted to sleep longer than 40minute stretches between nursing and pumping and starting all over again.

{And coffee. Copious amounts of coffee}

But now? Almost two years later…I am looking at my babies. Well, they’re not so much babies anymore, are they?

They are full blown toddlers headed towards being pre-schoolers all too quickly.

And I just want to hold on. I keep saying that, I know. But I do.

I want to always remember them this little. I know how fast it goes, my oldest is 10 years older than the youngest two…I get it. I really do know how quickly it passes.

I also know how insanely busy and crazy it can feel and how you just want to bust out and have 5 minutes alone.

But right now? I just want to immerse myself in their littleness. Letting them be little and seeing them discover so much around them.

But, oh, how my heart still aches knowing they are my last littles.

The difference between my oldest turning 2 and my twinnies turning 2 is such a world of difference.

With my oldest, there was hope more would happen and become. So much time stretched in front of us.

With the twinnies? Ohhh….this is it. We’re entering into a new phase of parenthood and it is both wonderful and gut-wrenching.

So, right now, I will hold on and attempt the best I can to dig my heels in and slow time, knowing I can’t, but trying my best anyhow. And I will hold and snuggle my growing bigger every second toddlers…and next week, on their special day, I will bake cupcakes. We will sing happy birthday and eat Mac & Cheese (their current favorite) for dinner, and we will CELEBRATE them.

And later I will hide in the pantry and cry. Because I’m a mama and I can.

What Not To Eat Before Heading To Your First Kickboxing Class

I finally decided it was time. A new kickboxing place had recently opened up about 10 minutes away.

{I’ve been wanting to do this for a while}

I signed up and had my first class scheduled.

I so wanted to chicken out. I was nervous, I was anxious….

But, I committed and I was determined to go.

However, on the day of, about an hour before, I almost completely forgot! It just so happened to have fallen on the last week of school. Not entirely sure WHAT I was thinking when scheduling it.

“Oh, that day? Sure! It’s only the night before my oldests 5th grade graduation. No problem! I don’t want to be able to walk the next day anyway….”

And, on top of all that, there was like a bazillion million things to accomplish.

Like, say, your son tells you he wants to wear a tie! {he currently didn’t own one} Oh, and “mom, don’t forget about the cookies you said you’d make to pass out for the summer birthday deal”….oh yeah. That.

{I had, indeed, forgotten. Super mom I am not, but I had to pull that cape out and get to work! I had promised. And I’m seriously not the crafter/baker queen, for realz….}

So, back to the kickboxing…

There was a party for all the 5th graders and I took him. It was an awesome time for the kids and a nice little getaway for mom. Dad had the other three, so it was just me and the oldest.

Then, on the way home, I was all “lets stop for coffee” and did so. Then realized, as I saw the cross fit people in the parking lot that I HAD SOMEPLACE TO BE in like 30 minutes! Oops.

{mad dash home, shimmy-shake-jiggle into my sports bra I’d bought pre-twins and hadn’t used much since then…ya know, breastfeeding twins and all that jazz….threw on some clothes, grabbed a water bottle and dashed to class…Oh yeah, and ate a half piece of leftover fried chicken that we normally never eat, but had leftovers sent home with us from MIL, and that was literally all I had time for. And it was off my husbands plate…let’s just say, not a great choice.}

Arrive, sign in and fill out paper work stuff. Get my gloves and get ready for what I’m told “the first 15 minutes is hell”….

GrrrEAAAtt…

And it was. That half piece of fried chicken? It almost made a second appearance.

Lovely.

And the instructors? They are like babies. Okay, they’re in their 20’s, but like more than a decade younger than I am.

And fitter.

And since having 3 bio babies, two being twins, my body is NOT.THE.SAME. Like, at all.

I cannot move the way I once did. My hips? So NOT the same since twins. Coordination in my late 30’s? NOTHING like it was when I was in my 20’s.

You guys, I felt OLD.

I’m not used to being “the oldest” or the “older” person in the room. And I wasn’t the oldest, but I sure wasn’t the youngest.

But here’s the thing…age? It really is just a number. And my body? It’s brought 3 tiny humans into the world and traveled oceans to bring home another to our family through adoption.

I am not the same as I was.

And here’s the other thing….I’ve accepted it. That my body is different and that I simply CANNOT do what I once did. And I have to modify some things. But, I’m also not going to let that stop me.

So, I sucked it up and went for it. And it.was.awesome! I mean, I totally felt like I was going to hurl in that first 15 minutes {and I am NOT a puker, folks}, but by the end, I was hooked!

And I signed up for 5 classes, so I have 4 more times to get my butt kicked again.

But, the fried chicken will not be joining me. I’ll stick with my green smoothies before and after class.

When A Quick Errand Turns Into A Mini Vacation…..At The Craft Store

The other day, I got to go to my local craft store. Alone. For a whole 30minutes…to myself!

I was actually running a quick errand, but it turned into a little mom time. It was nice and not a busy day or time, so I leisurely decided to stroll up and down the isles.

Okay, really, they rearranged the store since I’d last been in there, and I had to search around to find what I was looking for. But that’s okay…because thats how it turned into me having a mini vacation.

And I know, that IS sad that 30 minutes alone in a craft store is like a vacation to me right now. But, it’s the season I’m in. And I’m okay with it…most days. And I have a few things planned throughout the second half of the year that include this mama having a little more time to recharge.

But I digress.

So, while I was meandering through the store, I stumbled upon some fabulous grown up coloring books! I flipped through some, and then one jumped into my shopping cart. And since it did, I decided it needed some new just-for-mama coloring pencils to keep it company.

I grabbed what else I needed and secretly wished I could just go home and color….but the kids needed dinner first.

Such is life.

Seriously though, I was like a giddy kid and could.not.wait till I could sneak away and lose myself in some coloring….however, it was like almost a full 24 hours before I even touched that book and pencils…

But when I did…ohhh…therapy.

It was maybe only for 20 minutes, but it was a glorious 20minutes. And as I colored, I processed through all that is going on and my to dos and the fast approaching end of the school year….And so very much is going on and so very many things to do.

Which, is partly why I have not blogged in a while. Truth be told, there hasn’t been much time outside of life to do much else. There are times I feel like I’m under water with simply the daily tasks and parenting/mothering/being a wife…

Life can be crazy. Life IS crazy busy.

I constantly have about 3-5 blog posts running through my head, and inevitably, I will finally get to sit at my computer, only to have a few emails I need to respond to, texts, the laundry will beep…and suddenly my time has been eaten up. And then the twinnies wake from their naps…the bigs get home from school….then DINNER!

It’s amazing all that happens throughout the days. And before I realize it, it’s late and I’m too tired to stare at my computer screen to type out a post. A post that is now lost in my head somewhere and my brain too tired to retrieve it and turn it into words….

So, I might color instead. And coloring will eventually bring those thoughts back to being, and they will swirl around in my head and at some point find their way to my computer screen…

The Day I Realized Running IS My New Normal…

I’m not sure when it sunk in.

Maybe it was when making a double batch of mac & cheese that use to feed 3 of us for several meals, that now makes enough to spread over maybe two meals.

Or that making a single batch of cookies pretty much means enough for each person to have like 2/each and maybe a few to tuck into a couple lunches.

Or perhaps in the production line assembly for school lunch making I had going on…or the fact that I look forward to Mondays now more than the weekends, because the weekends are even crazier than the weekdays…

But, whenever it was, I woke up and looked around and said “Oh, hello! New normal…that feels more like a marathon than, ya know, walking…”

Or something like that.

It used to be just two of us. And when we’d just gotten married, and lived in a little tiny farm house just outside College Station, Texas while my husband was finishing up school, life was pretty simple.

Weekends pretty much consisted of sleeping in till whenever we wanted, maybe taking a trip to the local farmers market, and catching up with friends for lunch or dinner, staying up as late as we wanted because, as already mentioned, we could sleep in! Sometimes we’d head back home to visit family or take a day trip. We took in movies whenever and life {now looking back} was pretty darned relaxed!

Simple. Laundry for two, cooking for two. Easy Peasy!

Then along came our first born.

There was no more sleeping in, but it was still just three of us, so pretty simple for outings and whatnot. At least, it seemed like it was easier.

{Who am I kidding, I was a first-time mom…EVERYTHING felt like a BIG DEAL}

It was definitely life-changing, and exhausting at times with a new little person depending on me for everything, but it was manageable.

{But really, I totally had major freak out first-time mom moments. And plenty of them}

Fast forward several years and 3 more kiddos….

Life is crazy busy and never still. Ever.

I think since bringing our second home, I have felt like I’ve constantly been running. Yet, I wasn’t realizing it. Not really. I mean, I knew I was busy, and so many crazy adjustments and things, I kinda just got lost in it all and didn’t realize the pace on the treadmill had kicked up a notch.

Then…THEN it really kicked up a notch when we found out we were expecting TWINS.

{seriously unexpected, but oh so awesome littles they are! If you’ve never seen it, here is how we announced it:https://vimeo.com/54997660 and here is the gender reveal:https://vimeo.com/60801167 }

I think I’ve felt like I’ve been on a treadmill under water ever since.

And I think I was able to come up for air just long enough to realize that this is really what it’s like now. The running thing? This IS my new normal. Life is crazy-busy and chaotic and silly, and fun and just insane at times. Yup.

You see, mostly I’m a pretty private person. Yes, I blog things out here and there, but for the most part, until more recently, I just stayed in my underwater world and just kept chugging along. And typically if I cannot make it to an event or outing, or whatever, there is a very good reason.

I’m an introvert that needs re-charging. And I like my family. And I like being with them when we can and I will always, ALWAYS choose them over an event.

But, within my little family world that has grown from just two of us to six of us, I’ve had to make adjustments. And I’ve had to work on some things…

Like realizing that this life? This running? It’s just gotta be taken and accepted.

I’ve surprised myself in the ways that I have grown and changed. And, honestly, having one child with special needs, and then twins added to that? Well, I’ve definitely grown in ways. Good ways. I am far more relaxed than I used to be.

I think I even surprised a friend the other day that had asked if she could stop by for a minute and I said yes! It was a quick visit, but I was good with it. Admittedly, I’m not always….I kinda like planned out things, but sometimes life doesn’t give you much planning time and you just gotta roll with it or miss out!

My house definitely wasn’t in perfect order, and ya know what?! I was mostly OK with it. I mean, who cares that I still had a couple christmas items out that I’d forgotten to put away? Or dishes in the sink? And ya know, laundry might have been on the sofa to be folded….

But, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m learning to be okay with being more vulnerable and transparent. And being honest with myself that it’s absolutely OKAY not to have it all together all the time.

So, running…I will be running for some distance in this role as mama and this season of parenting.

Sometimes I think about the season where we won’t be running quite as much, when our kiddos are older, and I’m not really sure what to think about it. It will be different after so much running.

Perhaps in the midst of this season of running, I need to keep in mind how relax too…and that it’s OKAY to allow myself to….